Celebrating Autistic Parents

My mother,the tailor

My earliest memories are of my mum sitting sewing the finest stitches into a mans suit. She was a tailor and did work at home for posh stores in town. She made the most perfect mens suits for specific customers. They were done so precisely and accurately. She just did them, never complimented herself or showed them off, they just had to be that way.

Mum always did the housework at night when we were in bed. She would have the house spotless every morning when we got up. It always was, I never remember it any other way. SHe also had all the groceries bought and packed away, having brought them home by bus and carried heavy bags quite a way. She never complained, just did it.

Mum didn't like cooking, couldn't cope with the inventiveness aspect. All meals were repetitious so I learned to cook by 10. I loved she loved sewing, we had it worked out well. She also wouldn't learn to drive but could, did from an early age on the farm. Traffic was something else and she couldn't stand the unexpected.

My mum was a great mum, despite not cooking and driving. She kept a really neat house, loved us uncontionally but never showed affection outwardly. We sensed that she loved us by what she did for us not what she said. She cared for us and our needs implicitly.

If any kids, teachers or instutions dared to threaten us, mum went in like a terrier. I remember us getting out of trouble so she didn't have to come to school. It was always the same. No excuses, abuse us and she was abused and that wasn't on. She defended her kids and that was that. It was over the top and then over. Same rigmarole despite the issue.

Mum was tidy and clean, to the extreme. It was like she learned at an early age what clean was and there was no variation, ever. We were washed to within an inch of our lives, and so were our clothes. Mum is still the same at 82, clean and tidy with dementia. Makes life easier that she is, actually.

I know my mum has autism, so does my brother and my daughter. They are all different but excellent at anything they specialise in, to the extreme. Mum is still unaffectionate but caring in her way. I am glad she is my mum as she has taught me about loyalty, assertiveness and family. In her own way, she has blindly got through life with these attributes and always considered unusual but decent.